Chess

 

so I remember playing my very first game

of chess and that was in the fourth

grade I just moved to Canada from

Germany my dad was in the Army and the

day the day I started school was the day

I started learning how to play chess

first subject matter that we had was uh

was math and logic was the first chapter

and chess was was obviously the first

part of logic and so for my first day

school in a Canadian school l got to

play a game and I got hooked I'm going

home to my dad that night and explaining

to him about the game that they taught

us at school and I remember my dad

saying to me that he knows all about

chess and quickly brings out a few books

on the matter and hasn't you start

reading them turns out he was a he was a

proficient chess player in his youth and

traveled through Europe doing

tournaments so that's that's like a

common bond we shared that uh we

didn't

have before

so he started he started having me studyI remember that year we had so we had

the school tournament to see who would

go to the local tournament and then from

the local tournament you go regional and

then from the regional you go to

provincial provincial to national etc

and I remember that year I made it so I

I made it to the next level I was done I

beat everybody in school basically who

had played me and and that was super

validating and encouraging and maybe

wanted to you know keep going keep

learning grade five so l was about 11 at

the time I remember my dad buying me

my

very first automated chess board my

automatic robot chess board was a

Kasparov and man I played with that

thing

I beat that thing up so badly there's

pieces missing at the end and I had to

replace him with like remember using

coins I really wore that thing out that

thing had like eight batteries in it and

when you got like past level 12

the computer would take like a half hourper move to think and you could force a

move if you pressed a button but that

was kind of like cheating so you had to

wait it out but turns out after like

four or five of those moves the

batteries would die out so it was kind

of stuck at level 12 never got past that

but that year I remember going to the

regionals and winning first I got first

in the regionals my first chest metal so

I went I went on to the provincials

which so this was in New Brunswick this

is a East Coast sort of province so then

I went on to provincials wherel

eventually came forth which wasnt too

bad so fourth best at my age range for

boys in that province um but it was

before that in the regionals when I had

just I had just gone on a five and OH

l'd won five games all my five games no

losses I was feeling pumped I was really

on top of the world is probably one of

the greatest feelings that I had as a

chess player and as an individual you

know to find something that you're goodat and that you excel at and you get

praised for at such a young age is uh is

changing his life changing you you you

feel a sense of of this this was meant

for me I was meant to play this game

but after l'd won that I haven't met a

big fat medal and I remember going back

it was like in a cafeteria I think

wasn't a college or school or some sort

in in Fredericton the capital of New

Brunswick and then we went we sat

down

at this table with my dad and I was

feeling so stoked and l just finished

chatting with all my chess buddies who I

meet throughout the tournaments and

and

this lady walks up and she has her her

Son and so I might have been like 11 at

the time he couldn't have been older

than seven six he was so little |

remember him being so small and |

remember the mother saying to me that

he

was too young for this tournament if I

wouldn't mind playing a game against herhalfway through he starts taking and he

starts putting me in positions that I

didn't expect and lo and behold I got my

ass handed to me royally it was it was a

complete destruction

and I remember forfeiting and shaking

his hand saying thank you

um and they left the mom just got the

kids you congratulated him and they just

left on but that stuck with me so much

just is such a competitive game you

can't help feeling you can't help

feeling angry or frustrated when losing

if youre a competitive player in chess

it is frustrating I mean I remember it

bringing me to tears in in tournaments

when l'd lose a game and go to my mom

and dad and I was in the fifth or sixth

grade and I was in tears because it was

So emotional so there was so muchpressure but yett you wanted to you

wanted that feeling that bet that

winning feeling back and losing the

chest is almost like a blow to your

intellect almost like you've got it

smarted and now everybody knows it you

know and that's and that really sticks

with you so after that game smile that |

had the the stature everything

everything that I gained from winning

that tournament was flushed away in a

matter of seconds matter of minutes

Iremember feeling depressed angry

frustrated .