Metro exodus

 

I kid you not ten minutes into this game

everyone is calling you an idiot and

giving you the side-eye for trying to

leave the metro don't you see what

you're doing to my daughter even your

wife gets in on this then as soon as she

sees a train she acts like you haven't

been telling her for years

this same wife goes on to nagging you

for every step of the way be careful on

this beam Artyom

don't drop me in the fire or our team

I'm tired I want to go home Artyom help

I fell intoa toxic bunker nobody told

me to go into Artyom and don't even get

me started on her dad every single time

something bad happens on this journey I

guarantee pops will chime in with a yeah

if I would have known how muchcommentary about dust you brought to

the

table when exploring long abandoned

tunnels I would have thought twice about

it yeah but we already made our Exodus

So there's no going back now

looking lobsters

you should have seen it my dude there

were giant lobsters for the prolapsed

Jwords mouth should be this

gargoyle looking thing is uncomfortably

close to me that's not good oh boy let

me just um put my super soaker you will

be in a world of hurt bucko oh my god

yep that's pretty sturdy or is it

fully prepared to suck his dick

why the bandits have like the most

maniacal laughs we're cool chill buddy

you might want to get back off the

ground okayyou just keep laying there and they use

ladders Oh was there need a new fighters

there like specifically not using the

ladder on purpose I play no lobsters

decided to get on my boat I'm just

saying if there were giant meeting

creatures in the water andI was using a

rowboat I would row significantly faster

than this this is like turning in Mario

Party when you got two people

controlling the same [_] boat

oh he's ready for me what is he doing oh

he he's a smart catfish our videos

clearly working l just dont respond

because wives am i right keep sneaking

up on me

like a giant glowing bal of light Nicky

crazy

I haven't been calleda[_] to mesince I played Xbox Live special forces

Ranger that can't jog more than 30

seconds

uncle what a shame

my wife has no shortage of backhanded

compliments

[Music]

[Music]

Oh push it on the door [_J that was

your plan Felton door shut

Art's young I can't even sleep with you

around see what you're doing here buddy

I'm hearing in this time you know my boy

Stefani single does not steal what a way

to ask if she's single

[Music]

yeah that's clearly not crushing so

please tell me you realize this you gave

way too much information on this guyyou're such a bummer she's gone is just

as well for you Stefan l just love

getting laid Stefan make sure you get

some that [_] into the obvious trap

room

oops that was supposed to be a[_]

knife a little bit a lot cooler of it

worked out how it was in my head

shoot the guy in the head drop down

throw a knife in his chest all

action-packed like like this I miss but

this Jeff or DOMA [__] is this

impervious to knives

why do they always there are spiders it

is this is better I'm gonna die I'm

gonna die

if you want it you can come get it

yourself

oh boy so I guess these things don'tinto this vehicle

she doesn't off a lot of coughing almost

as if it's foreshadowing something for

the end of the game definitelyI will

totally do that why say more word one

less word save time cock-block did |

ever tell you why my mom died he used to

be even harsher back then this is me

walking away can't talk to you now are

you being distant because I walked away

were you telling me about your dead

bomb

women you actually did oh my got my

Wingman you guys can all plank me for

this hi wingman pretend this is

essentially my doing and all thank me

later

[Music]

it's been ruining the wedding only we

could have seen this coming

that not a person was it what am i

shooting I was shooting a teddy bear

this is gonna start the fight yep

blaming bear yeah take your time you see

that number ticking away on my wrist

it's my air filters you never hardlysaid hurry up or the radiation will kill

us apart 3 therefore that speech that's

where you're there what convenient

little ramp handicap accessible good

luck just Kevin McCallister I don't want

to go under these things I've played

half-life 1 in 2 but not 3 is that a

centipede why would there be giant

centipedes No so many reasons I should

be rolling as best possible and yet I'm

at tunnel of love speed right now did

you guys just leave me alone ok we're

gonna codes us peacefully here

little blind Harambee their dog good

buddy good it's a good monkey well

detail as my watch beeps loudly the big

boy.